There’s not enough concealer to hide my tired mind, quite like there is to cover the dark circles under my eyes. I can even yawn without ever opening my mouth, but I can’t always find contentment when it’s missing. I can hide physical exhaustion better than most; I just thrive on the adrenaline. My emotional, mental, or physical exhaustion is a different story.
This past weekend had been pretty awesome! We kicked off our “Finding God in Finding Nemo” study with a church-wide Family Movie Night and had a pretty unexpected face walk through the door. I spent Saturday morning with my favorite three year old and the afternoon shopping and hanging out with Brittany. Our entire Sunday School class was together again on Sunday and we laughed together in ways that we hadn’t in a while. I got to see kids’ faces all lit-up when they came from their groups after having their first “Finding God in Finding Nemo” lesson. The sermon hit home and I left with a renewed vision– a moment that I’d hoped for all morning. I even had a sleep-over with that same precious three year old Sunday night and the conversation that we had together during our bedtime routine grabbed my heart in ways I didn’t know it could be reached. The weekend was good. If we’re honest, it was better than good. Where did that same God-is-still-moving-in-this-live-for-today-reach-the-world feeling go?!? Why am I even feeling… uncollected?
Everyone knows that you can’t invest money in anything when you are broke! How am I supposed to invest in people when today, in this moment, I’m feeling pretty broke myself? Things in my world, all things considered, are pretty stinkin’ good– where’s my ability to be content in that? When did I give the Enemy enough edge to slide his way into my corner of the world and convince me that I’m not exactly where I’m supposed to be right now? I’m in desperate need of confirmation from the Lord and have been pleading for it for a while now– did I miss the answer? Why would He not want to say anything yet? If I just totally missed it– will He say it again?
Am I the only one who gets like this?!?