Day 12: Shattered and Scarred

It was now the Fall of my Senior year on The Hill– my favorite time of year on campus.  All of the leaves are orange, red, yellow and crunchy!  The morning air was cool and crisp and I enjoyed getting up before most everyone else and getting out in it.  This morning was a little different.  Instead of getting up and going for a walk, I opted to go up part of the hill by our apartments for some time of getting in the Word and journaling. 
While sitting there, I noticed a guy come down the hill from above me; Men’s Hill sits above our apartments.  He had a seat near me and before I knew it, our casual conversation was ending with me running.  He ran after me until I was inside our building.  You’d have to have a student ID that matched our door code to get into the building; he knew that and he knew didn’t.  I remember running up the stairs, into our apartment, and sitting on the floor in front of the door.  With ripped shirt, messy hair, and mascara running down my face– I was in utter shock.  I was frozen.
I had spent the last two years trying to identify a new niche on campus, my Junior and Senior friends had graduated and I was discovering that I didn’t really know many of the folks in my own class.  I had been on multiple Mission Trips with New Beginning Singers and an oversees trip to London with another local Student Ministry group and somehow felt confident to just be “me”, whoever that even was, take it or leave it with people on campus.  I wasn’t back and forth to Boone anymore and I rarely went home.  Somehow, I had found my home away home in this campus and I felt safe here.
And now, that had been taken from me.  I didn’t feel safe in my own home anymore, and I like to feel safe….

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