Archive | July 2014

Safe People

Our little lady packed her bags for my parents and I packed our bags for my Mars Hill parents.  The husband and I had blocked out a couple of days weeks ago to get away for a couple of days and just be us.  And the weekend was finally here.  We threw our stuff in the Honda and headed to the hills.

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The weekend started with dinner and food went unfinished because we couldn’t share the excitement of what’s happening our way fast enough.  I watched as my husband’s eyes lit up and he shared like he’s known them his whole life.  It felt good to finish a sentence, share new experiences, and catch up with old friends.  It was refreshing to just be us.

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That’s the thing about these folks.  You do get this sense that you have known them your whole life.  And you get this sense that they understand everything you aren’t saying.

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She and I walked campus and took in all of the changes while the men folks made homemade ice cream.  Tears were shed, laughs were had, and she was Jesus with skin on for me.

We’re home now and I already miss the genuine conversations had around their familiar dining room table.  My heart is full and I am thankful to have had the time well spent sharing hearts and filling in the gaps from our last visit.  Your heart and your story are safe there.  Grace is poured out and love is received.

A little over two years ago, I posted this.  And tonight, I’m reminded of how important it is to be a safe person for the folks you are in community with; the ones you do life with.  And tonight, I’m praying that my heart and my story are safe on this side of the state and that I am a safe person for others.

So I’ll ask you again.  What about you?  Are you a safe person?

The Gift of Waiting and Glory of Empty Dates

For the first time since my mini-me and I can remember, our whole family was together for the whole weekend.  From a Friday evening in our own backyard to a family adventure on Saturday and church together on Sunday—we reveled in the glory of empty dates on our calendar.  We shopped for Kindergarten, ate more than a take-out meal at our kitchen table, and piled up on the couch for a movie.  And we were reminded how much fun we have together.  We chose not to fill our time with the stuff that could have filled our time, but we just thanked the Lord for this gift of free time and said thank you.  We told stories from the early days of our family first coming together and we laughed often, sang loud, and napped hard. 

We took the gift of waiting (not a favorite of the girls in our home) and we enjoyed it.  And we know that this waiting will be worth it.  In this waiting, we are coming into the dreams that we couldn’t see just two weeks ago.  And these dreams match the heart of God better than the ones we had for ourselves.  And our family likes to match. 

 

And in the spirit of sharing what’s being sung in our car these days, here’s to keeping things simple…

Learning to Breathe

It’s been almost two weeks since our breaking point and I’m learning to breathe and let people love on us. And you guys ROCK—we have definitely been loved on and prayed through one very trying season. And here’s what I’ve learned through the tears:

•  This family can still do hard. We are strong enough to bend.
•  Little Ceasars, a house full of kids, and heart sharing makes me encouraged to stay in this race.
•  “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” (Steel Magnolias)
•  I have to learn to set boundaries. And I have to understand that setting boundaries is an important way of caring for ourselves. It doesn’t make us mean, selfish, or uncaring because we don’t do things someone else’s way. We care about us too and it’s okay to protect and guard us.

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  • Many problems can be solved over five hours of pizza and froyo.  And, I don’t deserve that kind of friend.  But I’m SOOO thankful for her.
  • We all need “safe” people; people we can trust our innermost secrets with and be loved by anyway when those secrets are messy and we can’t always explain them.  It’s important to have those safe people and to know that they are “safe” before you share.
  • I have some amazing safe people in my world!

 

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  • Dreaming with my husband is super exciting.  We dream BIG!
  • God is not only big enough to handle my tears but He welcomes them.  He’s using these tears to refine me.
  • I was born into one amazing family and am more and more thankful for that every.single.day.
  • A little sunburn is okay when it comes with a side of good friends.
  • Courage comes from a heart that’s convinced it’s loved.
  • Olive Garden, cookie cake, and late night adult conversation with good friends makes everything seem okay!
  • You have to set down all the stuff in order to take Jesus.

 

And, I could be wrong, but even now as I sit and wonder if my it’s-okay-to-cry-right-now-if-it-helps-you-to-feel-better-but-know-that-it-won’t-change-anything speech was heard at all… I know that God’s about to do something really cool in the world of Team Geanes.

 

i am

 

 

 

And because my five year old is singing this all the time, I share it with you.  Know that you, too, no matter what you’re walking through are an overcomer…

 

Just Before God Smiles At You

Just earlier this week, I stood at the dry erase board in our kitchen and I wrote in lime green.  My blood was boiling and tears were slowly rinsing away my makeup.  I began to hear our little one crying down the hall and I knew she was probably overwhelmed with all of the chaos of our house too.  She’s like her Moma; she thrives on ordered chaos.  I felt at such a loss for how our family is supposed to move forward from here.

 

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It has been the kind of week full of tears and pain and while I love my life, it’s been really hard lately.  And, I know that Team Geanes can play hard but I’d really rather ride the bench right now.  Just once.

 

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The little lady in our home and I have spent the evening in when we should have been at dinner with friends.  I was too drained to make it work and something needed to give.  In hindsight, we probably should have gone.  To laugh around a table full of folks who love us, support us, and meet us in our mess.  But instead, we stay in and try to hide away in front of a movie, hoping to settle into bed sooner.  And the little one does, but I stay up until my eyes are so heavy that it literally gives me a headache to try and keep them open.  I hit ignore each time my phone rings and try to keep napping the time away.  I want so desperately to be consciously aware when my husband walks through our door from work, but I miss it.  It will be morning before I know we’re in the same house together.

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We stand in the kitchen for the five minutes that we have together between him walking in the door and me walking out.

 

“What’s on your mind?

“I’m just looking at the board over there.”

And for a moment, I feel bad.  I know he’s trying so hard to make all of this work and he’s so outnumbered by two (often times) high maintenance girls.  I don’t want him to lose himself in the race of fixing this for his family.  But I don’t want to lose our family in the fight either.

We kiss each other goodbye and my heart aches as I walk out the door longing for more time.  More time for our family to be home at the same time.  More time to dream together and put feet on those dreams.

And I crawl into my car, tears streaming, and I sit still.  And the question from our little one screams in my mind.  “God remembers our question, right Moma?”

So I ask Him.

You remember our question, right Lord?

How’s Married Life?

We sit outside of one of our favorite restaurants.  We’re opposite of each other and the wind is billowing the giant umbrella above us.  To the point we’re almost yelling just to hear each other.  We say all the things we never say within the office, swapping stories of our weekend and our relatives and our husbands.  We’re laughing and exchanging shocked faces as the other one tells the next oh-my-gosh-I-haven’t-even told-you-yet story when our perfect lunch gets interrupted by a lady a used to know.

 

“How’s married life?”

“It’s good.  How’s your crowd?”

“They’re doing alright.”

“Good.  Good to see you.”

“You too.  Tell your moma and daddy I said hey.”

“Okay!”

 

She doesn’t stop to get a real answer so I hardly look up from my basket to give one.  Lunch goes on and I can’t help but wonder why people keep asking me “how’s married life” and how much longer do we have to be married before that question gets replaced with a new one.  Are the expecting me to say it’s anything other than good?  Are they hoping I let them to how we’re really doing?  Most don’t really want to know or they wouldn’t ask it in passing like that woman did.

So, how’s married life?  Married life is married life.  Well… married life is awesome.  Is it always pretty?  No.  Nothing about life is always pretty.  Some days are really hard and pillowcases get stained with mascara.  But most days are filled with laughter and memory making.  There are many moments when I find myself wondering why on earth he choose me back and asked me to marry him, because I am kind of a mess and not always good at this marriage thing.  But at the end of each day, I still know one thing for sure… he’s not perfect and I’m not perfect but we’re pretty perfect for each other.  He is exactly who God led me to and I am so thankful and honored to be the one that gets to do life with him.

 

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